Eye Candy Friday 6/6/08 - Anniversary Edition

On this day, 10 years ago, I married my husband.  We had already been happily together for 8-1/2 years.  Although this was my first marriage, and his second, I was not young, and certainly not, uh, naive.  When I was younger, I envisioned a certain type of wedding.  Large, of course, and very ethnic.  It was our family's tradition to party for 3 days before and after the wedding, and to invite every single family member neighbor, and friend.  I would be young and beautiful.  By the time I did get married, I was no longer young and beautiful, and my view of what a marriage and wedding should be was quite different.  I wanted to elope. 

The years my husband and I spent dating were some of the happiest in my life.  I always knew I wanted a family, but truly, he and I were working so hard at our careers, and were so very content with each other that marriage was not an issue. 

There we are in Vail, 18 years ago, on one of our many trips to Colorado, at the very place I had wanted to elope ------>

By the time we decided to get married and have a wedding, I knew I had wanted it to be a small, casual affair with gourmet food, as we are both true gourmands.  Everything came together quite smoothly.  It was a good thing that my husband liked to organize things, because at the time, I had the great misfortune to be working at the worst job I ever had, the job from hell.  Between the both of us, planning this affair was a breeze.  I wanted a simple but elegant wedding dress.  My mother wanted a designer gown.  For some reason, it was important to her, and she wanted to buy it for me.  She had just been diagnosed with bone cancer, a return of the breast cancer she had been diagnosed with 10 years earlier.  We didn't even know if she would make it to the wedding.  I ended up getting the very heavily beaded and sequined gown she had wanted for me.  When I had it altered, I had the seamstress take out six layers of organza.  It was still pretty big afterward, as there were at least six layers left.

We got married in Ann Abor, Michigan, at a bed and breakfast, and had our rehearsal dinner the night before at the old Metzger's downtown, a German restaurant we frequented often through the years.  We gave our attendants Polish stoneware and crystal for gifts. 

The wedding was perfect.  We had unusually hot weather for two weeks before, and luckily, typical to Michigan weather, a cold snap came through on the day of our wedding, thereby saving me from an assured fainting spell in my very heavy dress.  (My husband and I loathe hot weather, like today, mid-90s.  Yuck).  Anyway, relatives came in from all over the country.  It would be the last time I would see some of my older uncles.  The only snafu was a small disagreement my mother and I had about whom to invite.  I wanted to invite only immediate family members and close friends, with the exception being close cousins from my hometown, cousins who loved my mother and wanted to be there for me.  My mother didn't know how the family would take this news, of not inviting all of the cousins.  The cousins I didn't want to invite were all trouble makers or substance abusers.  Three of them are dead today because of it.  I did the right thing by not inviting them, in my opinion.

       The day after---------------->

Despite the fact that the social aspect of certain parts of the wedding wasn't perfect, it was true to form for my family.  My mother always said it wasn't a good party unless there was a fight.  Like, the fact that my sister-in-law ate two dozen of the gourmet truffles which were supposed to be stuffed into favor boxes she was working on, thereby slighting some guests of their treats, or the fact that one friend who finally met another friend asked her in front of thirty people if she was gay, or the fact that my good friend brought her sister, who had a long history of substance abuse, and was later seen by another friend, an ex-Detroit cop, to be carrying her to her hotel room after she threw up on herself, (a snapshot in time captured by my nephew on camera), or the fact that another friend who never danced was found to be quite comfortable wearing very little on the dance floor, or the fact that my aunt and my sister-in-law, who had never met, almost came to blows as to whom was going to get the lower floor bedroom at the bed and breakfast, or the fact that one of our guests kept the table camera ...need I go on?  Despite all this, it was a very nice affair, and everyone commented on the wonderful food.  Our cake, which was absolutely delicious, was made by a pastry chef in Ann Arbor.  It had a buttercream frosting which held up nicely outside with the colder weather.  We ordered an extra large cake so that guests could take home a healthy slice.  To this day, people don't know that we stayed at the Campus Inn in Ann Arbor on our wedding night.  We didn't tell a soul, as I didn't want tricks played on us. 

We had reservations for a honeymoon in Lake Louise, Alberta, Canada.  Two weeks before our wedding, my husband's cat became very ill, and we cancelled the trip.  Weiner ended up dying the week after our wedding, not a fun way to start a marriage.  We took a shorter honeymoon up north in the Upper Peninsula, in Marquette and the Keweenaw Peninsula, or Copper Country, another favorite place for us.

As I look back, I am glad I didn't elope.  It not only made my mother happy, but it gave me many happy memories which are making me cry right now. 

Comments

[Marie]

Wonderful wedding memories, thank you for sharing. I think weddings were meant more to make the parents happy. You look gorgeous in your photos. So glad to hear it wasn't terribly hot that day.

Amused by your SIL and the truffles. It reminded me of how my mom thought it would be so easy to invite MORE people at the last minute (that would be another table of 10), this AFTER I had already ordered the exact number of chocolates needed.

[Mel]

Someone stole one of our table cameras, too. We found out later who did it, and that he'd pocketed it before the picture-taking started, so no photos were lost. I was told (by his daughter) that he probably felt a camera on every table was wasteful, and that we could certainly spare one.

[Lisa W]

Congratulations to both of you! And thank you for sharing your wonderful story and photos. And yes you were still young and beautiful...and still are ;0..Happy Anniversary..and many many many more.

[Evelyn]

Trish...what a beautiful story. I bet it was good for you to put your feelings into print. Thanks so much for sharing this with us. It brought a tear to my eye as well. Congratulations to you and your husband and I hope for many many more anniversaries.

[kristi and otis]

Happy Anniversary! Great story and photos.

[Marguerite]

Thanks for sharing.

Love it that you changed your honeymoon plans because of a sick cat. That just proves you married the right guy. But, of course, you know that.

Congratulations.

[knitman]

Congratulations. Good photographs as usual from you.

[LynnH]

Congratulations. I'm glad you are happy with all that resulted. It definitely sounds like you got the right guy for you!

My mom, too, was facing (lymph) cancer at my wedding (she is now clean from it for 11 years, woohoo). I let her tell me what she wanted and it helped her through the bad days of chemo. She had to take a nap in the middle of the reception but it made her so happy that I married Brian.

(My elderly cat died while we were engaged... I so relate to your decision to change plans. What else can one do?)

I'm happy to see your photos.

[Plain Jane]

When DH & I were married almost 27 years ago, we waited until early the next summer to head north to the U.P. and the Keweenaw Peninsula for a belated honeymoon on the way to North Dakota to visit his family. It's beautiful up there and one of these days, we're going to go back. Congratulations on your 10th anniversary!

[CatBookMom]

Lovely story, and the family feuding came out rather funny, at least from a reader's perspective. At the time it would have been cause for some teeth-gritting, I'm sure.

We passed on a honeymoon, too, due to the four-foots in the family; in our case we had 2 brand-new kittens, so our wedding was a short overnight trip to Lost Wages.

Congratulations to you for your 10th and 18.5th anniversaries.